Plant Corpses
by prin69
Summary: The team looked between a glaring Gibbs and an excited Abby, standing ready to receive a hug. They only wished they had popcorn. VALENTINE FIC!


**Valentine's Day fic!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, why must every story start with the sadness of me stating this?! Why?! -Author runs away crying-**

**Though beta-ed the beginning of this. The rest I kept hidden. I want to state I love Tony. Sadly, for the purpose of this story, he's getting no love tonight.**

**Read, review, and be adored. It's that simple.**

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"I do not understand the point of this holiday. You buy candies and plan corpses for women and they are expected to sleep with you? McGee, does this make sense to you?"

"Um…"

"He's a man," Tony said while standing up, then turning to lean with both hands on McGee's desk, "well, a boy at least." Tony turned swiftly before McGee could protest, "Ziva, of course it makes sense to him!"

"Flowers."

All heads turned as their boss stormed through to his desk and took off his jacket. McGee began to type 'I am working, Tony sucks' over and over to appear as if busy. Ziva organized papers on her desk as if looking for something important. And Tony rushed to his phone, held it to his ear, and began to call his florist.

"What's that Gibbs? You want us to order you flowers for a lady friend?" Tony's hand dropped the phone as his head was smacked from behind. "Thank you boss, I needed that." Tony hung up the phone and walked behind his desk and sat down.

"They're called flowers, Ziva. Not _plant corpses_."

"Gibbs?"

Sighing, the older man turned back to his newest agent. Just ten minutes and he would be out of here. Why were they making it so difficult? Couldn't they just sit still and be quiet for once? "Yes, Ziva?"

"Happy Valentine's Day!"

Ziva was cut off from her question as all faces turned to Abby. Ziva's mouth opened, Tony grinned, Gibbs raised an eyebrow, and McGee almost ceased to breathe.

There, in front of all of them, stood Abby, who was very excited about Valentine's Day.

Her black stockings had patches of red hearts all over them. Her boots were the regular black, tall, but with red laces. Her skirt was very short, striped red and black. Her shirt was all red and very snug. Her black collar had a red heart dangling from it. And she had on a headband that had glittery red hearts extending into the air on springs.

She bounced up and down on her heels.

"Well, who wants to see their Valentine card? I have one for everyone, and I made them myself. The only way to go really. And they're personalized. Granted, they look a lot alike. Exactly alike actually. But! As I was making each one I knew who I was making it for. They're hearts! But not those wimpy heart cards with the white lace. My lace is black. And my hearts are really, really cool. Because you guys all rock so you deserve cards that rock. I already gave one to Ducky and he then told me where the giving of cards shaped like hearts originates from. And I'm going to keep going here until somebody stops me because I'm just filling the silence that seems like it would be awkward. And I gave a card to my landlord, but I don't think he liked it 'cause I thought I saw it in the trash can in the hallway before I left for work this morning. But that's okay, he sucks."

"I'd like a valentine, Abby."

"Thanks, Gibbs!"

Abby skipped by everyone's desk, placing a large black envelope on each. When she got to Gibbs she stopped in front of him. He was leaning on his desk and she leaned up, pecking him on the check, and held out his envelope.

"Your _real_ present is for later." She grinned, and he grinned right back.

"Erm, Abby. What is this?"

Everyone turned to look a McGee, the only one to open his card already. He was covered on black cupid and heart glitter and held in his hand an odd shaped card covered in what appeared to be blood.

"That, probie," stated Tony, "is what happens to rats that invade Abby's lab."

"Tony, I told you he was a pet!"

"It's a heart," Ziva said as they all turned to look at her. "It is what a real heart looks like."

She was holding her card. The confetti all over her desk, as she had opened it away from herself.

Tony did the same, his confetti going all over the floor. He couldn't stop the smirk as McGee tried to shake his confetti off of his hair and sweater.

"Tony!"

"Yes boss?"

"We're a team."

"Of course boss"

"When one suffers, we all suffer." And with that Gibbs opened his card over Tony's head.

The rest of the people in the room laughed at the expression on Tony's face. A flash of light was seen as the laughter died and they all turned toward Ziva.

"For the blog."

"You have a blog?"

"Not yet, Tony. But McGee said he'd help me to make one. And this will be my first picture on it."

"So!" Exclaimed Abby clapping her hands together. "We only have about six minutes left. Everyone has to go around and say the things they love about everyone else."

Everyone looked at each other, but no one said a word.

"Fine," Abby said as she rolled her eyes, "I'll start."

"She hoped onto Gibbs's desk. "McGee, I love how you're awesome at killing zombies on video games and always know what to say to make me feel better."

"Well thank you, Ab-"

"Shhh! No talking. We say what we like. We hug. We leave. Don't destroy it, Tim. Now, Tony. I love how you cry whenever we watch "The Fox and the Hound". Ziva, I love how much you care for this team. And Gibbs, I love how awesome and sexy you are."

"Tony cries?"

"Gibbs is rather sexy in that color."

"I do not cry, Ziva. And probie, gross."

"Tony's turn!"

"I wanted to go next, Abby."

"Sorry McGee, First person to talk goes. Those are my rules and they shall be followed or Gibbs will smack you!"

"But I talked first and Ziva talked second."

"Silence! Never question me, Tim. Ever."

"But, Abby, I just- ow!"

"She told you I'd hit you, McGee. Tony, go."

"Okay. Abby, I love how funny you are. Ziva, I love how short your skirt is right now. And the fact that every time you move it inches up a little more. McGee, I love how good you make me look in comparison. Gibbs, I love having your excellent teaching everyday."

"Great. McGee, now you go."

"Um, alright. Abby, I love how when I say something having to do with computers you don't give me a confused look. Tony, I love how you always have my back when we're working, and when we're not. Gibbs, I love how you always know what to do. And Ziva, I love your cute little way of mixing up American phrases and words."

"Ziva goes next."

"Abby, I love how open and caring you are. Tim, I love how sweet you are. Gibbs, I love how much you enjoy your job, and make us enjoy it as well. Tony, I love how… interesting, you are."

"Now Gibbs!"

"Tony, I love your enthusiasm. McGee, I love your loyalty. Ziva, I love your dedication. Abby, I love how you constantly surprise me. Now everybody go home!"

"But Gibbs, we have to have a group hug!"

The rest of the team looked between a glaring Gibbs and an excited smiling Abby with arms wide open, standing ready to receive a hug.

They only wished they had popcorn.

"Abby."

"Gibbs."

"Abby."

"Gibbs."

"Abby!"

"Gibbs! Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs! I can go all night, Gibbs. And then we'll never get home. In fact we'll stay here with Tony, McGee, and Ziva all night long."

Gibbs stepped forward. "Anyone who doesn't hug right now loses their job."

Abby's smile brightened as the team jumped into the hug.

They separated after moment, and stood in a circle.

…

"Why is no one going home now? You got off a minute ago."

"We just love you boss"

"What Tony said, this is a rather pleasant atmosphere."

"Ziva, it's bad enough I have to see all of you during the day. Everyone get out right now!"

**XxXxXx**

McGee, Tony, and Ziva walked into the elevator.

"You know, Ziva, if you have no plans for tonight I'm sure I could, ah, make room for you."

"How very sweet of you, Tony."

"Yes, well, I thought so."

"But Tim and I already have plans which should take the whole night. Isn't that right, Tim?"

McGee blushed as Ziva stroked his arm and Tony's mouth dropped.

He coughed and then said, "Yes."

Tony turned away from them in shock right before the elevator doors closed. Abby and Gibbs were pulling away from a kiss, and next to him McGee and Ziva were just starting one.

This was the most upside Valentine's Day ever.

**XxXxXx**

Back in the bullpen, with an arm around Abby's shoulders, Gibbs grinned at the closing elevator doors.


End file.
